Broken And Hurting
by MrsTaylorBlue
Summary: What if Sapphire didn't stick with Carmen the whole time at Burnywood? What if Carmen didn't want to make friends with Lily again? What if EVERYTHING was different? Carmen/Liam. AU story. Rated T for swearing and possible teenage themes in future chapters.
1. Chapter 1

**What if Sapphire never came back from Burnywood with Carmen? How would she deal with it? Let's find out. That's where our story starts from. THIS WILL BE DIFFERENT FROM THE REAL EPISODE.**

_**Carmen's POV**_

"Hello, Carmen!" Gina said. "Babes? What happened to your eye?" she asked, brushing my hair out of my face.

"I'm fine." I snapped, beginning to walk away. Gina put a hand on my shoulder.

"What happened babe?" she repeated.

"I'm fine, I said!" I told her, and I walked upstairs.

"Carmen!" Tee said, grinning. "What happened?" she asked, her grin faltering. I saw Liam appear behind her.

"Me and Sapph got put in Burnywood. She ran away after a week. I was supposed to go with her but I got held back. All my stuff got nicked, and when I asked for it back…" I felt my eyes sting a bit.

"You can borrow some of mine. I'll help you choose." Tee offered, holding her hand out to me. She was so nice.

I took her hand, and offered Liam a smile as we passed him. He grinned back at me, before heading off.

Tee gave me some clothes to wear, and slipped me some money. "Here, use that to start getting your stuff back."

"Are you sure, Tee? I mean, I don't want it to seem like I'm really really desperate, you don't have to." I said.

"Of course I'm sure! We're friends, right?" Tee said with a grin.

"Thanks Tee." I said, putting the money into my pocket and giving her a hug, which she returned.

We headed downstairs, with my new clothes, and into the living room. Liam and Frank were setting up a pool game.

"Hey Carms, Tee." Liam greeted. My heart fluttered. I still had feelings for him. "Fancy a game?" he asked, gesturing to the table.

"Sure." I agreed, grabbing a pool cue.

"I'll pass, thanks." Tee said, turning on the TV.

Liam, Frank and I started playing.

"So…who nicked your stuff?" Liam asked me as I potted a red ball. I missed my next shot.

"His name was Tyler…and there was also this girl, Lizanne, she nicked all my money." I told him. "There was this girl, Kitty…she was nice to me when Sapph left. She doesn't really talk to other people since she's got…problems." I explained.

"Do you know where Sapphire went?" Frank asked.

"No…I just know that she didn't bother getting in touch. So obviously, she didn't care." I said with a shrug, potting the black ball.

"Another game? Just me and you." Liam said.

"Alright." I said and grinned. "Prepare to die, O'Donovan."

"Just you wait, Howle, I'll take you down easily." He said.

"Yeah, right." I said sarcastically.

"I'm sorry they put you in Burnywood." A small voice said behind me. I turned as Liam was taking his shot and, low and behold, there was Lily Kettle. My expression hardened, and I clenched my fists.

"Calm down, Carms." Liam said, placing a hand on my shoulder. I turned and took my shot.

"You mean you're sorry _you _put me there?!" I asked angrily, when my shot was over.

"It wasn't Lily's fault!" Tracy protested.

"Yes it was!" I snapped. "She jumped off the fucking roof, Tracy." My language seemed to surprise Tracy. I heard Liam snicker from behind me. "She did it so that she could cause a load of trouble. All Lily Kettle cares about is herself!"

Lily began to sniffle.

"Now look what you've done!" Tracy said.

"Awwh, she's upset!" Liam said sarcastically. "Well at least she didn't get all her stuff nicked, and then beaten up when she asked for it back!" he said.

Carmen smirked. "I never cried! You don't let them see you cry, right Liam?"

Liam grinned at me, then we both looked at Lily. I took my shot and Liam potted the black on his next shot. We both stood there, holding our pool cues.

"Well, I think you'll be glad to hear that I'm not coming back here." Lily sniffed.

"Oh, cry me a river. I don't give a shit." Liam said, rolling his eyes.

"That'll be nice for Poppy and Rosie, won't it?" I said, smiling sweetly.

"I'm not going to the Perrys!" Lily said, glaring at me. She looked up at Tracy, who nodded at her. "Cam's fostering me."

"She's WHAT?!" Johnny said. Lily turned her wheelchair to look at him. "You thieved that foster placement from me and Tee!"

"I never!" Lily protested.

I smirked and looked at Liam. He was smirking too.

"You had a foster home to go to and you turned them down! Now you're taking me and Tee's place!"

"Johnny!" Tracy said. Tee stood up, staring between them both.

"Why does SHE get all the chances? When's it gonna be our turn?!" Johnny asked, and he threw a lemon. It was aimed for Lily, most likely, but it hit me thwack on the side of my forehead.

My reaction was the same as I learned at Burnywood. I let go of my cue and it crashed to the floor. I stalked over to Johnny and wrapped one arm around his neck. I began to punch him in the back, in a 'kidney punch'.

"Don't you EVER. Hit me again, or I'll get you!" I said.

"Ow, get off!" Johnny said.

"Carmen!" Tracy shouted, trying to separate us.

Johnny turned in my grip and grasped my shoulders, throwing me onto the sofa. Mike grabbed Johnny by the shoulders and yanked him back. Tracy grabbed me by the shoulders and pulled me back.

"Lily jumps off a roof and gets whatever she wants! I've never done anything wrong, ever! And I get nothing!" Johnny said. He freed himself from Mike's grip, and Mike, Tracy, Tee and the weird woman who suspended Mike went running after him.

"What's going on?" Gina asked.

"Nothing!" I said, stalking back over to the pool table, where Liam was smirking and clapping.

"Lily!" Gina said, seeing her crying.

"I won't go." Lily whispered.


	2. Chapter 2

I walked upstairs slowly, my head pounding from where Johnny got me with the lemon. I heard footsteps coming after me.

"Nice kidney punch on Johnny." Liam said, catching me up.

"I…I didn't mean to react that way. It's just…after Burnywood its instinct." I whispered. "But don't tell anyone that."

"Your secret is safe with me." Liam whispered, grinning. "I'll catch you later, I'm heading out to the mall." He said, and he ruffled my hair and headed off.

I walked into my room and sighed, looking around, before walking down to the office.

"Mike, can I have some paint?" I asked.

"What for?" he asked me.

"I want to re-paint my room." I explained.

"That's okay, because we're all painting our rooms tomorrow." Mike said.

"Okay." I said, nodding, and I turned to leave.

"Oh, and Carmen." Mike slipped a huge parcel into my hand. "From your mum." He said.

I staggered upstairs with the parcel and walked into my room. I placed the parcel on my bed and shut the door behind me, opening it. I read the letter first.

_Dear Carmen,_

_Sorry they're EXTREMELY late, posting from Spain to UK is hard work. Christmas, birthday, and…a little more for just you._

_Love Mum._

I raised my eyebrows and reached in, unwrapping all the stuff.

I had clothes, and they weren't pink, which was perfect, because I'd gone off pink. I also had a DSI, a camera, and a full camping set, plus some new blue, red, orange and SLIGHT dark pink bed stuff. Also tons and tons of those stars you stick on the ceiling and they glow in the dark. Perfect.

I re-made my bed and packed the stuff away, changing into my new blue sweater, black jeans and aqua trainers. Tee had said I can keep the clothes she gave me, so I put them away, and then hid the rest carefully, before heading downstairs.

I saw Johnny, sitting in the living room. I entered the room and he looked up at me. He stood up quickly in his defense.

"I'm not here to hurt you. I just…want to explain something to you. Can I sit with you?" I asked.

Johnny sat down, thought about it, and then gestured to the seat beside him, nodding.

I sat beside him. "The thing is…at Burnywood…you have to learn to be tough…I didn't mean to react the way I did, honestly, it's just…I thought you did it on purpose. Can we be friends? I'm really sorry, Johnny…did I hurt you?" I asked.

"It's okay, I forgive you. Of course we can be friends. You hurt me a bit but you know… I did deserve it. I'm shit at aiming." Johnny said, and we both laughed.

"So…we're good?" I asked as I got up. I held out my hand for him to shake and he took it, shaking.

"Yeah. We're good." He said. I grinned and walked upstairs to mine and Lily's room. Tracy was taking Lily's stuff.

I pulled out Lily's drawer on the chest of drawers, grabbed all her clothes, dumping them in the box Tracy had.

"Why don't you phone Lily, see if you can work something out?" Tracy asked, as I sat on my bed.

"My phone got nicked at Burnywood. Anyway, I don't want to work anything out with her." I said. Tracy sighed, took all of Lily's things, and then left. I lay down on my bed, staring up at the ceiling. As my head flopped back onto my pillows, I felt my hair fan out. I remembered the stars my mum sent me for my ceiling and thought about putting them up tomorrow, when I'd finished painting.

I heard a knock at my door. "Come in." I said, sitting up straight.

"Hey Carms." Liam said, making me blush as I sat, cross-legged, on the bed and looked towards him. He had a backpack in his hands and he sat on my bed.

"Hiya, Liam. Enjoy yourself in town?" I asked.

"Yeah. Hey, um, this is for you." He said, giving me the backpack. "I'm gonna go play pool with Johnny…want to come?" he asked.

"Nah, I'll pass thanks. I've got some thinking to do." I said. "But thanks, Liam." I added, grinning.

"You're welcome." He said, and he patted my head again before heading out, closing the door behind him.

I opened the backpack and my eyes widened. I found a phone, with headphones, a charger and everything; I found clothes, but thankfully not anything _too _pink. I also found shoes, and makeup. I smiled.

"Oh, Liam." I whispered, grinning. "You outdid yourself."


	3. Chapter 3

"DINNER!" Gina shouted. I finished fiddling with my new phone and put it on charge. The rest of the stuff Liam got me I'd packed neatly away. I headed downstairs. I paused as I entered the kitchen.

Lily was sitting in her wheelchair, chatting away to Tracy and Tee. She was already moving in on my friends, huh? Probably trying to turn them against me. I felt my fists clench. She was trying to make them like her better than me.

"Hi Carmen." She said smiling nervously at me.

"Carmen, babes, go sit down with Lily and Tee." Gina said. Tracy stood up so there would be a free seat.

"I don't want to sit with her. I hate her, and I wish she'd just go away! She's a bitch, and all she ever does is make sure she's not alone, and that she's got the best friends and family. I'm not eating anything while she's around." I said, and I started walking out, with my fists still clenched and my hair flowing out behind me.

I heard Lily start sniffling.

"Carmen, you're so horrible!" Tee said angrily.

I froze and turned my head to see everyone getting up and going in Lily's direction.

I ran upstairs then, tears running down my cheeks. I ran into my room and slammed the door. I pushed the chest of drawers and Lily's old bed against the door to keep it barricaded. I sat on my own bed and began to cry quietly myself.

It wasn't just because of Lily; it was because at Burnywood…Sapph abandoned me. She made me feel like she really cared and then when I got pulled back, she never came back for me, or even bothered keeping in touch. And then everyone started bullying me, all except from Kitty. Then…after that…I finally got to go back home.

But of course, I didn't think it was worth it now. Everyone loved Lily, and hated me, because she was Little Miss fucking Perfect.

Someone tried to open my door, but my barricade obviously worked. Then, that person gently knocked.

"Piss off! If you're here to lecture me about Lily I'm not interested!" I shouted, tears still streaming down my cheeks.

"I'm not here about Lily. I couldn't give a flying fuck about her. I'm more worried about you." Liam said.

"Look, I know I'm a cold bitch, but she's always got the most attention, she's always the most love, always the luckiest, and she still wants more. I'm none of those things!" I started choking on my sobs and I rested my head in my hands.

"Please let me in." Liam said, and his soft caring voice melted my heart. I pulled the chest of drawers and bed back, letting Liam in, then I barricaded the door again. He sat beside me and wrapped his arms round me in a hug. I melted into it instantly, wrapping my arms round him and having a good cry.

"It's not fair." I whispered. "Why is it always her? Why is she better, prettier, smarter…" I began to list the things that made her better than me, but Liam put a hand over my mouth.

"Don't be silly, Carmen. You're prettier than her, better than her, smarter, sweeter, cooler…need I list more?" Liam held me close. "Don't let them bring you down. If they can't see that you're awesome, screw them." He said. "Anyway, you know what they're doing downstairs now?"

"What?" I asked, wiping my eyes.

"They're all shouting at Lily for being such a bitch. Except from Tee, but she looked really guilty when you rushed out." Liam said. "They're not Lily's friends, Carmen, they're yours." He told me. "Don't forget that."

"They're not my friends." I said.

Liam stared at me. "What?"

"They're my family, Liam. They've been there for me as much as they could and I love them all, including you." I told him, leaning my head against his chest. I heard his heart beating…it sounded like it was going rather fast, but it was probably my imagination.

"We all love you, too, Carmen." Liam said, and he pressed a kiss to my forehead. "Come down when you're ready, yeah?" he said, and he left.

I moved the chest of drawers and Lily's old bed back to their old places, and I got out my phone, grinning at it. Liam O'Donovan was possibly the best friend you could ever wish for.


	4. Chapter 4

I walked downstairs and into the living room. I sat on the sofa awkwardly, on the one where nobody was. Eventually, Johnny and Liam came to sit on either side of me. I looked at them and smiled.

Slowly, but surely, Tee walked over and hugged me tightly.

"I'm sorry I snapped. You had a reason to shout at her." She said. "Will you forgive me?"

"Course I will, Tee. You're a great friend." I agreed. She went back over to play with Harry and I leaned back on the sofa.

"You know, Carmen…" Johnny began, and he and Liam exchanged a look.

"You really shouldn't let two boys like us sit on either side of you." Liam said, as Johnny began to tickle me.

I squealed and giggled and thrashed out. "Stop! Johnny!" I let out a shriek as Liam picked me up and tossed me over his shoulder. He and Johnny ran out, with Liam still carrying me.

"Put me down!" I protested, but I was giggling. Suddenly I heard a familiar voice.

"Carmen!" it was Sapphire.

Liam set me down and I turned to face her. She had her arms open and was walking towards me. I backed away.

"Leave me alone." I growled.

"Carmen, I got a flat! I can move out! And…I want you to come with me. Mike said it's okay." Sapphire said. "It'll be a laugh."

"What, so you can abandon me when I need you most?!" I demanded. "You didn't even bother to get in touch, Sapphire! Do you know how awful I felt? I thought that maybe, just maybe, I'm just so horrible that everybody wants to leave me behind! You, my mum, my dad!" I sighed. "You left Harry alone, too. You didn't even bother coming to see him, did you?! It's been WEEKS since you left Burnywood and you knew where Harry was staying." My fists were clenched.

"Carmen I'm so sorry, please understand…" Sapphire began.

"NO! Maybe just this once I don't want to understand, maybe just this once I _won't _forgive someone!" I said, and I turned and stormed down to the kitchen. My fists were clenched and I felt anger coursing through me.

"She has anger problems." I heard Sapphire saying. "She needs help. We should speak to Mike about it…"

I felt hurt prickle in my eyes. I started going through the cupboards till I found Sapphire's favorite plate, mug, and egg holder. I grabbed all three and slammed the cupboards shut.

I heard Sapphire, Liam, Johnny, Tee and the others appear into the kitchen.

"Carmen, put those down!" Sapphire said.

"No." I hissed. "Make me."

Sapphire ran towards me and as she did, I let the plate, mug and egg holder fall. They hit the ground and felt glass splinter everywhere. I felt a searing pain on my leg.

"NO!" Sapphire shouted. She grabbed me by the shirt. "You little whore, I'll kill you!" she screamed.

"Sapphire, get off of her!" Liam shouted.

"Carmen." Johnny whispered.

Sapphire whirled me round and I slipped on the glass, skidding round. I fell backwards…right into Liam and Johnny's firm arms.

"It's alright, calm down, we've got you." Johnny said.

I straightened myself up. "Thanks." I said, smiling.

"What the heck happened in here?" Mike asked, as he entered.

"Carmen smashed my favorite plate and mug and egg holder!" Sapphire said angrily.

"Carmen?! Why?!" Gina asked, turning to face me.

"So she knows what it's like when you expect something to be there…and it's not!" I shouted, and I stormed outside, pushing through the doors. "I've got anger problems, huh? Well maybe I can satisfy them up here!" I shrieked, and I began to climb the tree. The tree Tee almost fell out of. I got myself up and climbed higher and higher until I could lay back on the branches.

"I won't move from here." I promised. "Not until she's gone, and if she's staying…bad luck." I said.

"We'll see about that!" Sapphire said, shaking the tree. Suddenly the bit I was laying on snapped and I went sliding forwards with a scream. I grabbed onto the above branch but it snapped.

I braced myself for the pain and the floor but Johnny caught me safely in his arms. Everyone let out a sigh of relief. Tee ran over and put an arm round me, as did Liam and Johnny.

"Sapphire…get your stuff and leave, please. We'll talk in the office." Gina said, leading Sapphire away. Mike followed.


	5. Chapter 5

That night, when I came down to say goodnight to everyone (wearing my new violet PJs and slippers) I noticed Sapphire was still here. I adjusted my violet dressing gown and walked past her, my shoulder bumping past hers as I went. She was older than me, but quite short.

I entered the living room. "Goodnight, guys." I said, to the people who were still awake.

"Night Carmen." Everyone said, except from Liam.

He grinned. "G'night, Carms."

I blushed and walked out. I walked upstairs and felt a hand touch my arm. I turned.

"Go away, Sapphire." I said, and I pushed her. She went flying back into the banister with a slam. She stared at me.

"How did you…"

"I've learned that people who don't care about me don't deserve my attention." I said coldly, and I walked into my room, closing the door. I took off my dressing gown and slippers and slid under my new bedding. Slowly, but surely, I fell asleep.

_The next day._

As I walked downstairs, I noticed Lily was watching me, alone, in her wheelchair.

"Why are you still here? Didn't Tracy take your stuff yesterday?" I asked, folding my arms.

"Carmen, you're my best mate and…I hate it when we fight. I've come to say sorry." Lily said.

"Well tough shit. I'm tired of being friends with someone who only wants me so she can share her family life. You only want me because I'm so obedient! Well not any more." I said, and I walked off.

"Right guys, here's the paint for your rooms, off you go!" Mike said.

I grabbed aqua and hot pink, with purple, a brush and a roller, and went upstairs to my room. I changed into my 'painting' clothes and began to paint my room. I was erasing every bit of my old pink life. The walls were the only thing I had to do.

"Knock knock!" Liam called, poking his head in.

"Come in." I said. I was on the last wall by this time, using the roller.

"Need help?" he asked.

"Sure, thanks." I said.

Liam picked up a brush and helped me on the wall. Suddenly I felt the brush dab my cheek.

"Oi!" I said, and I dabbed him with the roller, on his clothes.

Eventually we got the wall done. As we were walking downstairs, Tee tripped on her way up and got paint all over me and Liam.

"Oh my God, are you guys…eek!" Tee was cut off by me and Liam throwing paint over her. Soon, everyone joined in. Nobody cared about their rooms any more, we were just getting colorful.

"WHAT IS GOING ON?!" Gina screamed.

Seeing as me and Liam were the most…painted, she glared at us.

"You two, office, NOW!" she shouted.

Everyone else scuttled off, while Liam and I walked towards the office.

"It was so worth it." I whispered in his ear. "You never fail to make me smile, Liam." I told him, and with that said, he grinned and we both walked into the office together, bracing ourselves for the shouting and screaming from Mike and Gina.


	6. Chapter 6

"What were you thinking?!" Mike demanded, staring at us. Liam and I had a smirk on our faces. "It's not funny!" he raged.

"Sorry, Mike." Liam and I chorused.

"Carmen, what's gotten into you?" Tracy asked, staring at me. "You're being absolutely horrible to Lily, you're getting into trouble…"

"Read my lips, Beaker. I. Don't. Give. A. Shit." I said. "Besides," I said, ignoring their gasps at my language. "Maybe it's time I changed."

"That gives you no right to be horrible to Lily!" Tracy said.

"Look Tracy." I snapped. "Not everything is sunshines and fucking rainbows right now, okay? I'm a care kid. Before, I was pink and fluffy and girly. I've changed. That's what happens in life. It's called growing up. And us care kids, we're tough. People push you down? Don't fall. Lily was spending every minute of her time insulting me and making me like her. Well, fuck that shit. I'm my own person." With that said, I turned and walked out of the office.

"That was awesome." Liam said, grinning.

"Everyone is probably paint covered now, but yes it was." I agreed.

"Well, that too, but your words…man, you really have changed." Liam told me.

"Is that bad?" I asked.

"No, course not." Liam said.

We began to walk upstairs together. Everyone was crowded at the banister.

"So what happened?" Johnny asked.

I told them everything and they all laughed.

"You're right about Lily." Toby said.

"Completely." Johnny agreed.

"I can't believe you didn't notice sooner." Tee exclaimed, and I was surprised; usually, Tee was so nice. I grinned.

"We should all get cleaned up." I said, gesturing to all of our faces and clothes. We were multicolored.

I ran to my room, grabbed some clean clothes and shouted back to the others. "Bags I get first in the girls' bathroom!" and then I rushed towards it while the others scrambled about to get their clothes.

When I was done in the shower I walked downstairs in my new clothes, all neat and tidy, when I heard Mike talking.

"We can't do anything, Tracy. As much as I'd like to, Carmen is right. People get older and yes, care kids have to be tough." Mike said.

"Can't you at least stop her making Lily cry?" Tracy demanded.

"I'll give it a go, but remember that Lily has put Carmen through a lot in the time they've been here, and a lot of the time, Carmen just let her. It's her acting out, we can't do much except wait for it to pass." Mike said. "But okay, I'll TRY."

"Carmen, acting out? She's too much of a drama queen to change, though it's probably because of her mum. We have to hope Carmen doesn't become a bitch like her. But anyway, thanks Mike. Right, I have to head home. Cam, Lily and I are having takeaway." Tracy said, and she walked out. Mike waved at her and went into the office.I ran upstairs, feeling tears starting to fill my eyes. I ran into the toy cupboard and locked it from the inside, and I began to cry properly, sitting down and wrapping my arms around my knees.

_Is that what everyone really thinks of me? HOW DARE SHE INSULT MY MUM?! It was kind of bad, the way she brought me up, but…me, become a bitch? I don't want to be, it's just Lily really hurt me._

I heard an extra key unlock the toy cupboard door. Before I had a chance to look up, I heard the person close the door, hide the spare key away and lock the door again. The person sat beside me and wrapped a strong arm around my shoulders.

"Carms?" Liam asked softly.

I leaned against him. "I'm too much of a drama queen to change." I repeated. "I'm going to become a bitch like my mum."

"What?! Who said that?!" Liam said angrily.

"Tracy."

"Just ignore her…she's probably just pissed off about Lily." He said. "You're special, Carms. And very, very perfect."

I looked up at him through my tears. Suddenly I pressed my lips to his, winding my arms round his neck and closing my eyes.


End file.
